shes about as inviting as chlamydia
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
