Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
