you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize