Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
