I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
