why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
He kissed a someone with a penis
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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