I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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