he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
