I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
