i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
they're like a gay fantastic four
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize