11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
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I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
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