Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I think a kid would responsible me up
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
