my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
