Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
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Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
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You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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