Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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