All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Randomize
