Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
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