Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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