The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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