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• (314): View more from Missouri

  dude did u upper deck my toilet?

  (1-314): View more from Missouri

  haha like two months ago

  (314): View more from Missouri

  i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.

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• (252): View more from North Carolina

  OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.

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• (218): View more from Minnesota

  you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?

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• (587): View more from Alberta

  My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.

  (614): View more from Ohio

  That d should have definitely been an s.

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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?

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• (406): View more from Montana

  I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....

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• (406): View more from Montana

  I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me

  Fav 0 13 24

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