If i come over, it means nothing
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
