is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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