Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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