She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I'm bleeding and have questions
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
