If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
