I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I think i got beer on your cat.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize