I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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