My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Randomize
