just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
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