...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
My pussy is not your playground.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
