i think my tv is drunk
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
