Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
