idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
