I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
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oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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