There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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