why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
