Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Randomize
