grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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