I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
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