Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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