If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
COCAINE IS GR8
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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