I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
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