am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
