Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
