Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
