Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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