I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
