would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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