i'm signing you up for texting rehab
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
