Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
