I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Why is your signature on my underwear?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
