those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
