The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
