why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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