I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Randomize
