Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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