its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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