Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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