the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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