I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
