i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
